Ep. 110 – Self-Care is Not Selfish

Welcome to Your Monday Maxim with Amy:

This your mental Vitamin B. Each Monday I share a little motivation & insight to start the week. You’ve got a lot of people depending on you. There is big work for you to do. So here’s a maxim for you, the smart, ambitious woman, to help you SHINE.

Self-Care is Not Selfish
Self-Care is Not Selfish

Today’s quote I’m really excited and I haven’t done this before. This one is by Beyonce.

And when I read this I just stopped and had to go back and reread it like two or three times just to really process. And what she’s saying is so real and so for us right now she says, 

Women have to take the time to focus on our mental health- take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself.”  – Beyonce

There’s so much in that. I think a lot of times we’re really focused on our physical health. We’re really we’re making sure that our surroundings are taken care of and that we’re eating properly but we don’t take time for our mental health for our soul. And when your soul is neglected and overlooked it affects every single aspect of your life.

So, if that is digging in and finding a little more spiritual uplift or if that’s finding a way to connect. If that’s a way that you can find what works for you then you need to do that and not feel guilty or feel like you’re being selfish. And the reason this is so important this is something I really struggled with a long time ago.  There are still times where it pops up and my husband will just stop me and say, “Wait. This is really good for you. So it’s going to be really good for all of us. I want you to do that.”

Sometimes we just need that little extra reminder to say to ourselves look this is going to be good for you. So it’s going to be good for this whole world. And your personal impact the way you influence the world comes from what how you see yourself.

I love that second part where she says the world will see you the way you see you. Sometimes we stop and we look in the mirror before we start the day. And what we say to our self is so unkind and so unfair. No more of that. We are done with that starting today the world treats you the way you treat yourself.

No more self-talk that is cruel to yourself. No more.

No one can treat you better until you know inside how much you deserve that and you are worth it. So here’s things a couple of things I want to tell you.

A few things to remember about self-care.

Find What Works

Self-care one is not bubble baths and massages. But that can be part of it. That may not be all of what it’s important for you in your personal life. So the secret is you’ve got to find what really will make you feel that uplifted and complete and refreshed. What works is going to be the right thing.

Is Personal for You

And that brings us to rule number two which is it’s very personal to you. What works for you may not even make any sense to me and vice versa. I love the quiet. I love listening. I love, kind of, being in my own little bubble and then going out in the world. Some people get that self-care by being in a group and just being around lots of people and having them touch them, and talk to them, and enjoy what is happening in all of this.

That doesn’t work for me, which is funny because people think I’m very much an extrovert.  I can be. But I just need also that time. There’s a little bit of both the introvert and the extrovert in all of us. We need that balance.

Make your self-care personal to you.

Leaves You Filled Up

And the third rule is anything that you consider self-care is something that lifts you up and feeds your soul.

My friend, Kerry Oberbrunner, says repeatedly you need to, “Show up filled up.”

That means your soul is lifted so you have something to give the rest of the world. And a lot of times we, as smart, ambitious women, are taking care of so many different people. We are showing up and we are about empty.  Our soul’s gas tank is just really struggling and if we are not careful then we’re just going to lose it and just crash. And that’s so hard to pick yourself up from. It’s so hard to find the pieces and you’re just struggling in that.

You want to find something that is perfect for you. That works for you and your lifestyle and that lifts you up so you are filled up.

Take this and run with it. Make sure that you have something that really works because the world sees you the way that you see yourself. So make sure you’re treating yourself right. I’m so grateful to spend this time with you I’m so grateful to really learn from you and grow and go on this journey with you.

Hey, you have a great week and I’ll talk to you soon..

Ep. 109 – Value Yourself as a Smart, Ambitious Woman

You’re a smart, ambitious woman. You know you’re supposed to value yourself.

You make sure that the work gets done.

Value Yourself
Value Yourself

That everyone contributes.

And that tiny details are taken care of, things are turned in on time, and you are serving others.

You value the lessons learned in the work.

While you teach others to learn, grow and progress.

This is all so very important, but you know what else matters?

Answer this honestly inside:  Do you value yourself? 

This is something it seems, that every smart, ambitious woman is so busy looking out for all the things… the stuff of life, the details are taken care of and things keep moving forward.

You miss the chance to look back and enjoy that moment when you had that tiny win (that was more than just a tiny win… it was setting you on a whole new path for your life.)  When you should savor it.

You rush to the next thing because it’s on the list.  Yet, you haven’t processed the last thing.

So as you have more things going on, you can lose yourself in it.

Don’t devalue yourself.

Stop missing the moment.

Instead, be all there.  Feel how good your life is right now.

I know, you’re thinking, “But my house is still not as clean as I’d like… I haven’t made that next promotion… I haven’t lost the weight… I’m not there yet…”

Of course not.  That’s the future.

You are here.  Right now at this moment.

Answer the Emergency Text

It’s late at night, you are about to go to bed.  A close friend that you haven’t seen in a while texts you and says, “I’m feeling low.  Remind me why I’m a good person.”

At that moment, you have no idea what’s going on in her life.  You don’t know if she just broke up with a boyfriend, or her job is a nightmare or any of that.

None of the matters right now.

What do you do?  Immediately, you instinctively send a text, or two, or several, reminding this friend what a wonderful person they are.  You look inside to their heart and tell them of the exact moment when she stood up and did the right thing.  The memories of the time when you both laughed yourself to tears…literal tears, comes up and you can’t help but smile while you continue to text. You tell her that she is glorious.

Mostly though, you remind your friend that she is loved. Just because.

And you are there for her, no matter where the world takes you.

Then you wait.

It takes a minute or two, but she answers you with a heart and “tears streaming down the face” emoji. She remembers that time, too. And in that tiny moment, you feel that peace. Your friend feels valued.

You feel love.

Value Starts Within

We’ve all had moments when we’ve felt like that.  It doesn’t matter how successful you are, where you come from, how nice the car you drive is…

If you don’t value yourself, no one else will see you.  All of you.

Value yourself now.

You know what’s crazy about that?

You’re a smart, ambitious woman.

Right now. You.  You have so much value.

You are the one serving in the community.  People say to you, “Girl, how do you do it all?”

They value your efforts.  Time for you to value yourself.

To value yourself, it’s time to look within.  Let yourself take inventory and remind you of all that’s right with you.

The Screen Test

People see what you are doing on the outside.  Imagine if they saw what you were doing to yourself on the inside.  If we all walked around with our own, little speech bubble/ screen sharing the thoughts and conversations we are having with ourselves, imagine what that would look like.

See that exhausted-looking woman in front of you in the check out with 3 screaming kids?? Her screen would say, “I haven’t slept in 3 days.  But I can’t get sick.  How will we survive without my paycheck?  I’ll just push on…” 

The screen of the superwoman who bakes delicious goodies and gives them to neighbors says, “These are so ugly!  You can’t do anything right.  Why don’t you just quit?  This will never be a business!” 

You know that  working woman, supportive friend, that hasn’t settled down woman’s screen reads, “Why does it matter if I have a man or not?!?  I would love to settle down.  Quit asking about my dating life! My worth is not based on being someone’s wife!”

Your screen, what would it look like?  What do you say to yourself that you would never say to another person?

Perhaps you need to write it down on a paper.  Just so you can see how those words aren’t helping you.  In fact, they are hurting you.  These words are holding you back.

So rip that paper to shreds. Destroy those useless words. Burn the paper if you need to, but don’t you dare let that inner voice hold you back.

If you don’t value yourself, how will others value you?

Be There for Yourself

We all have days when we are feeling low.  That’s part of this human experience.

The world need you.  The full you.  The you that answers your own emergency text when you’re feeling low.  The you that reminds yourself you are good.  More than good.  You are wonderful.  You give and serve.  You are glorious. That you are doing so much to make our world better.

And mostly, that you are loved.  Just because.

You are feeling the value that you have.

Bring more of that to our world.

Ep. 108 – Slow Walker

President Abraham Lincoln said, “I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.”

"I am slow walker, but I never walk back." Abraham Lincoln
“I am slow walker, but I never walk back.” Abraham Lincoln

Great thought for each of us.  We are pushing forward on our goals and even if we’re slow, we keep moving forward.

You are still ahead of the game if you are working on your goal.

Your pace may be different than others, but this is the right pace for yourself.

Don’t get down on yourself because you are not where you want to be.  Let yourself go through the process and help you become a better version of yourself.

And, clearly girl, never walk back.

Have a great week.

Shine on!

Ep. 107 – Build Trust. Make Sales With Email

Welcome back to the Email Marketing Series! In episode 103, we started talking about what your email marketing needs to be effective. Then in episode 105, we discussed your email marketing strategy. In this episode, we’ll look at why you hate selling online; how you can create relationships with customers and make more sales using email to connect with your audience.

The best salespeople never talk about sales.  They offer solutions.  They are constantly making suggestions to help others.

Let’s be honest here.  You don’t like sales.  You don’t like asking for money, pushing for a product.  You hate that stuff.

Something you may not have considered: The reason you hate selling online is that it feels disingenuous. It doesn’t feel like YOU.

Build Trust, Make Sales with Email Marketing
Build Trust, Make Sales with Email Marketing

Example, board a flight and the person scanning your ticket or your phone says, “Enjoy your flight.”

The worst example was when our family was booking tickets to Disneyworld in Orlando.  We had to make an adjustment and after the call transferred to another someone on the phone lines, the customer service person said, “Have a magical day.”  But it certainly did not sound magical.

These are prime examples of disingenuous expressions.

You are not disingenuous.  You are real. This matters to you because you are concerned about having integrity and being true to you.  Even online.

Now, think of your last movie recommendation to a friend…

Or, the recommendation I received on a restaurant in town we haven’t tried, a friend said, “You gotta try the fried pickles.  They are phenomenal.”

These are very specific.  They are recommendations.  And you LOVE sharing it.

The key is to build more trust in your online business. 

Trust is your currency.  The only thing you have to develop relationships is trust.  It starts with you.

How to Build Trust with Your Audience

You build that trust by following :

1. Reveal yourself.  Share what you are doing, where you are in a process.

2. Involve your audience in the conversation.

3. Recommend the solution that works for you.

Think about infomercials.  We’ve all seen an ad, you know it’s an ad while flipping through channels.  You listen for a few minutes and realize a half hour has passed.

What happened?  You were involved.

So, how do you do this with your email marketing?

You build the trust.

How to Build Trust Using Email

Follow the same steps in this way:

1. Reveal yourself.  Share what you are doing, where you are in a process.

You reveal yourself when you Tell a Story.  Don’t write a novel in your email, just a few sentences is enough. Make the picture evident.

2. Involve your audience in the conversation.

To involve your audience, Ask a Question.  You’ve just painted the picture, you can easily ask, “What would you have done?” Or, “What do you think happened?” Or, “So guess what she did?”

3. Recommend the solution that works for you.

The story and question now give you a chance to Share the Solution (that is, What You are Selling) to explain how it worked. Be sure to share the most important part, The Results.  It’s about those results.

4. From there, Make Your Offer.

Tell your customer what they must do now to get those same results.  Emotion makes the sale.  Be sure to talk about how it feels to use your product/service/offer.

By following these specific steps, you make more sales through email.  But you’re doing it in a way that is genuinely you.

Build trust and credibility as you make more money. That’s email marketing success.